Normal:Do you have any hidden talents? So hidden, that not even I know about them.

Fire:Would you consider yourself hot-headed or more even-tempered? Lukewarm, unless provoked. Then it’s all glacier surface ‘til the volcano erupts. 

Water:Can you swim? Do you like to swim? Not very well, and not very much (partial fear of drowning).

Grass:Would you say you have a green thumb? What have you grown? Psssssh, only mold.

Electric:What do you think of thunderstorms? Love them, though don’t enjoy when electricity is out for more than a couple of hours.

Flying:How high have you ever been up? More than I’m comfortable with.

Rock:What is your most precious treasure? My stable relationships.

Ground:Are you down to Earth or would you say your head is more in the clouds? I want to get a tat of a wing on one of my ankles, because I feel caught between ground and sky. Plus, I’m just the type of bird that would fly in circles.

Poison:What is the most disgusting thing you’ve eaten? Either squid or octopus. 

Bug:What is your self-esteem like? It’s an every-day variance, but as of late, moderately well.

Ice:Do you have to warm up to people you’ve just met? I can usually tell within moments of meeting a person if we’re going to “click” or flop. If we’re naturally compatible, then I don’t have to do anything but let it flow.

Fighting:Do you prefer hand to hand combat or to fight with a weapon? Ha, like this happens all the time? I’ll fight with a weapon if sparring, but if I’m legit being attacked, anything goes.

Psychic:If you could choose telepathy, telekinesis, or precognition, which one would you choose? Telekinesis. I have this thing where I’d like to blow up windows.

Ghost:What are you most afraid of? Time. When you’re younger, everything happens so slow. But with each passing year, the winds pick up, and I keep looking back, or am overly anxious about what’s ahead. Worst case scenario: it’s all for nothing.

Steel:Are you brave or do you easily become nervous or scared? I do have social anxiety, but I think I’m tougher than your average cookie.

Dark:Are you street smart? Uh, not sure what all this entails, though I’m horrible with directions. 

Dragon:What is your favourite mythological creature? Centaurs. Though Medusa is my ladylove. 

We’re all prone to getting needlessly emotional from time to time. Sometimes, without any real cause other than Sunday blues. Sometimes, because shit just ain’t how we planned it.

If there’s one thing that Life has ever taught me, it’s this: tough titty. Life doesn’t care. Life, synonymous with Time in this context, slows down for no one. Whether I triumph or fail or die after this post, not one damn is given by Life and/or Time.

On a more positive note, this is where I recognize how I’m not the alleged loser that my mentality occasionally leads me to believe:

•  Family & friends: all of them, like self, can be dysfunctional, selfish, reckless, finicky and ridiculous. But above all, they are loyal. I never doubt that they have my best interests at heart. Likewise, I do my best to reciprocate. Sometimes, I exceed their expectations; sometimes, I disappoint. But I do try to return what’s given, in my own little ways.
• Education: I’m the first in my family tree, to the best of my knowledge, to graduate college right out of high school. Unfortunately, it was at a time when the market was saturated and the economy’s shit (still is, in fact). But it’s an accomplishment, all the same. Haven’t given up on going back to school, either, though some online institution would likely be my best bet.
• Job: This is perhaps the biggest way in which I feel like a loser, but let’s face it: it’s rough out there. I don’t love where I am, but I am making do, and I could do much worse. I can pay my rent, my phone and car bills, and I finally have my own health insurance. I also get about 90% of my meals for free, so that’s nothing to scoff at. Still, I have to pinch myself and keep my eyes open— much too easy to settle, even if I’m not truly happy with where I am.
• Boyfriend: Yes, it’s disheartening to see all these couples getting married, despite knowing each other for less than a couple of years (some, months). But it’s useless to compare. Inevitable, but useless. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. It has by no means been easy. We’ve been long distance for at least 90% of our relationship; it’s one of the roughest things a couple can undergo, though we’ll get no points for it. We have our doubts and our fights, but frankly, I wouldn’t have done this for any one else— and unlike the job thing, this has nothing to do with settling. I can’t ever be accused of being a romantic, since I know damned well that there’s someone (or several someones) that could make either of us happier. But we like being together, even if “together” currently means phone calls and the occasional few days within close vicinity is all that we’ll have for a year or so.
• Living situation: Again, not ideal, but making do. I do sometimes clash with my roomie, whom is also one of my closest friends. It can also be cramped, since her dad is also in the house with us (long story). This is the second biggest way in which I feel like a loser, since it’s like I moved out of my parents’ house, only to live with another parent. But to be fair, I am mostly left alone when I wish to be. I would very much like to live in my own studio apartment, but it’s simply not affordable at the moment. This neighborhood is safe. My room is awesome. The house may be crowded, but it’s moderately clean and comfy. And the dad is a wicked cook, and my dynamic with my roomie is almost like having a sister. I’ve never had one, and always wanted one, so that’s really not such a bad thing at all.
• Body: self-image is an everyday thing for pretty much everyone I know. Mine’s flippant as hell, but slowly improving. I mostly eat well (if only because my heart situation has forced it— I’ve been doing alright, btw, and I’m due for a Holter monitor in a couple of weeks). I try to get to the gym 2-3 times a week; the visits are always gratifying, since I can feel my body strengthening (my legs are getting beastly…I should be able to kick through brick walls before too long). I do value my wit over my looks, but it’s nice to know that I can look good when I care to. 

That’s enough reflection for one night. Speaking of body image, time to check out those cake-flavored ice cream bars I acquired over the weekend. :P