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Typical texts between myself and my bestie:

Me: What the hell is wrong with me? For my birthday, I don’t want to have a nice dinner with friends, or go dancing or have a party I want to go to a f’ing cabin in the woods in the middle of nowhere. Should we bring a video camera and/or axes in case some weird shit happens?

Blair: Nothing is wrong with you! Yes, I have a handheld video camera, and we need an ax for sure…also, supplies and weapons in case of a zombie apocalypse.

Me: Ok, we’ll get some Depends so we don’t get zombie attacked while taking a shit

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